FE's Sankofa Quest...

Lost Uncles

2011-12-07T21:27:00.001-08:00

I have two uncles that I never knew and have finally been able to obtain copies of their death certificates. Leroy Lumpkin my Father's older brother and Malcolm Thomas Johnson my Mother's older brother.

Leroy Lumpkin Death Certificate

My Uncle Leroy died when I was about 4 years old. I don't remember ever meeting him, but my Mother advised that she did and that he was very nice to her. I never heard much about him from my family and the stories that I did hear weren't very positive, I heard he had a temper and was always ready for a fight. He had also done some prison time and was eventually killed. One source advises that he was caught up in the Los Angeles gangs in the early 70's. I haven't confirmed that fact, but I did confirm he died on 26 July 1973 and this was by a gunshot wound to the heart. Seems he was at a Cafe a couple of miles from his home and that was were he was shot and killed.

I've searched long and hard for information on my Uncle but its pretty hard to get information. From what I understand 3 of his 4 children are deceased and I have no idea how to find the 4th. These are first cousins I have never met and 3 out of the 4 I will never meet.

My Uncle Mac I met at a young age which I have no memories of. This was my Mother's oldest brother and I remember the many stories she used to tell me about him. He was her big brother and very protective of her. When my family left East Liverpool, OH to come to California my Uncle Mac remained behind and eventually visited the family in California but some type of disagreement occurred and he returned to the East Coast.

Malcolm Thomas Johnson

The most disturbing thing about receiving this death certificate is that he died on 14 Dec 2005 - that was only 6 years ago. He was located in California when he died. Moments away from family but no one knew about it. He died of a Heart Attack, but it appears he had been fighting Prostate Cancer for years. His final address was a convalescent hospital in Los Angeles. When I look at this Death Certificate it really brings tears to my eyes because of all of the unknown information on this death certificate. He died alone. No family to help him with his transition and from what I can gather no close friends. I plan on contacting the convalescent hospital to see what details they can give me, he had family and very close to him, he shouldn't have died this way.

I had a long discussion with my sister regarding this as we were both very emotional about these death certificates, being that both of our parents are gone things like this always make us emotional because we understand the value of family. That time is of the essence and you must take advantage of the time given. I can't help either one of these Uncles, which of course is painful, but what I can do going forward is to make sure that not another family member goes "unknown". Not when you have an abundance of family that can be there so the world will know just who they are. This is a lesson for all. Thank you for letting me share.

-FE

Winnsboro, LA

2011-09-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

I just spent the evening with my Father's first cousin's, one I know very well (Dee Dee, the elder I wanted to follow back to Winnsboro when he left Cali). And a bunch I've never seen before. The ones I had never met, Samuel & Lee - his Paternal cousin's felt like I was looking into my Father's eyes. Comforting and needed. I was a Daddy's Girl, so not seeing those eyes for 17 years and to finally look at several pair was a good feeling.

I listened to stories of my Father as a child saw locations of where he walked, played, fell got up and tried again. I can feel him here.

I shared my research history with them and found out there are two others doing research as well; one I got a chance to speak with her, she lives in Jena, LA and another cousin who I will meet tomorrow who I am told has the pictures...

Can't wait, tired as all get out so going to call it a night I huge day tomorrow, can't wait. Ashe!
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I am here

2011-09-03T14:26:00.001-07:00

A day and some hours later... Tired... Neve wear white pants while traveling. ;)

FE
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On Way To Louisiana

2011-09-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

Sitting here @ Houston Intercontinental waiting to board my flight to Monroe and then driving to Winnsboro to see family members that I haven't seen in a long time, but more than that to meet the ones I've never laid eyes on.

Excited and a bit nervous (first time stepping foot onto the state). So there is a load of anticipation going on. I've been researching my family for a few days shy of 3 years and kind of upset I won't get a chance to raid every place holding records, but I will do the most important of all of this; finally bond with the people I've only heard stories about and the first place my father recognized his hands, his feet. The first place he smiled, laughed and shed tears. I'll catch the records the next trip. ;)

- FE
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They Come To You In Your Dreams...

2011-08-31T06:48:00.000-07:00

There's an African Proverb that states, "Sleep is the Cousin of Death." Now whether that is true or not is debatable, but I've always found that in my dreams life is the most interesting.

I can fly. I am in most cases happy. I am a Superhero some evenings or doing amazing things that just don't seem to work while awake. But more than anything I visit with my family that have passed on and I have to admit that is the most amazing and comforting of all the things that I can do in my dreams.

Last night I was an adult running behind my Grandmother from store to store the way I used to do when I was a kid. I always give credit to her and my Father for the reason why I walk so fast and have no problem walking. She used to walk all over West & North Oakland, from shop to shop, funeral to funeral (different story) and my child legs would almost have to run to keep up. My father was a tall man with long legs so one step for him was almost a complete 3 for me with my youthful legs. So I'm a fast walker...

Last night I was an adult though, following my beautiful Grandmother from store to store, in between clothes as she picked up this outfit or that outfit. Some she put up against me to see how it would look, checking out the quality, the cut and stitches used to see if it was something that would fall apart after two washings - or better yet if she could just purchase the fabric and make it herself.

We didn't talk at all, but I followed her around; every now and again she'd turn back to make sure I was behind her and I was. If I was too far behind she'd give me that stern look that meant if I didn't keep up either a pinch or worse the switch would be a factor when we got home. Or there would periodically be that look while we waited for a bus that she would lick her finger and then smooth down my eyebrows and give me that Grandmother kiss that would make all in the world great.

Yet last night - I was an adult. The crappy thing about them coming to you in your dreams at least in my dreams is that I can't speak or at least to her, when my Mother visits we talk all the time. I don't remember a conversation between me and my Grandmother, just looks of love and the comfort of being in each others presence again.

The alarm lost its mind at 6am on the dot and our time was cut short. Yet I woke feeling the way I did as a young girl, protected and loved. Well rested and prepared for whatever today brings. Yeah, I dig those dreams.

Jane Labauve - West Baton Rouge, LA - My Great Great Grandmother

2011-07-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

Jane Labauve, born Aug 1852, born to Ellen Allen (b.1816) & father unknown. I believe Jane was a child conceived by Ellen & her slaveholder or slave handler; as every census that I have found her in she was listed as Mulatto.

I found Jane listed on the 1870 U.S. Census living with her husband William Thomas(b.1842) and the next house listed right below them was that of Jean-Baptiste Labauve. So I decided to research Jean-Baptiste Labauve to see if he had any slaves in the 1850 & 1860 Census' that may link to either Jane or her mother Ellen (and my Great Great Grandfather William Thomas for that matter).

1850 U.S. Slave Schedule: Jean-Baptiste Labauve owned a total of 11 slaves, 6 men and 5 women. One of the women age 34, which would have been the age of Ellen at that time.

1860 U.S. Slave Schedule: Jean-Baptiste Labauve owned a total of 14 slaves, 7 men and 7 women. One of the women was age 43, which is a very close to the age Ellen would have been and an 8 year old girl which would have been the approx age of Jane at the time.

I'm not sure how many siblings Jane had as I cannot locate Ellen in the 1870 census which may give me more hints. However I think I'm pretty much on target with the slave holder.

I'm in love with all of my ancestors, but Jane has always stuck out to me because of the last name and her being the only ancestor I've found so far that had the same last name as her neighbor of a different race on the census listings.

Jane had a total of 14 children, but I only know of 7 one being my Great Grandfather Alfred Thomas. In the 1900 U.S. Census she was widowed and advised she had 14 children, 6 of which were living during that census. I tried to imagine the pain of losing 8 children and her husband by that time, that is the definition of strength.

I'm sure when I get to LA and really get to dig in some real records it will sew up most of these loose ends I'm experiencing, but I just wanted to put her name out there because she did EXIST. The Labauve Family History is all over the internet and her and her mother are merely listed as slaves. Well those mere slaves survived and flow through me and I will never forget what they had to go through so I could be here writing a blog about who they are. Ashe!

What To Do on Father's Day When He is no longer here?

2011-06-19T12:44:00.000-07:00

LIVE - and do something you enjoyed doing with Him. My Father & I loved Aquariums and since I'm in Georgia which has one of the largest Aquariums, I'm living and He lives through me. Happy Father's Day!
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What's in a Name?

2011-06-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

Family research has brought up some unique names and even though as an African-American and early on our names were given to us by slave masters, I still believe there are signs/signals in those names.

I was born Felicia Monique, my mother told me she named me after a little girl she would catch the bus with in the morning while she was pregnant with me; who used to make her laugh and touched her stomach and told her that I would be a girl. Now keep in mind this is before the Doctor's would tell you if you should start stocking up on blue or pink gear. Now maybe I'm digging a little too deep here, but I know that everything has a meaning/definition (that's why I love proverbs and the dictionary so much).

As I continue on with my Family Research I decided to find out the meanings of my known (I say known because I'm still researching) Great Grandparent's names down to the Parents to see if there was a pattern somewhere.

Here we go - I'm doing this as I create this blog - so either it will equate to something or maybe it won't, here goes:

Maternal 4th Great Grandparents:

Samuel (His name is God) Mills/Rachel (Ewe) Prince

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Paternal 3rd Great Grandparents:

John (God is Gracious) Addison/3GGM Unknown

Ellen (light, torch, bright) Allen/3GGF Unknown

Zephirin (west wind)Patterson/Lottie (Free Man) Williams

Arthur (Bear or Stone) Williams/Adelaine (Noble)

Maternal 3rd Great Grandparents:

William (will, desire, helmet, protection) Mills/Marilla(bitter)

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Paternal 2nd Great Grandparents:

William (will, desire, helmet, protection) Addison/Hettie(home ruler)

Henry (home ruler) James/Isabella (God is my vow) Monroe

William (will, desire, helmet, protection)Thomas/Jane (God is gracious) LaBauve

George (earth worker) Patterson/Theresa (Harvester) Williams

Maternal 2nd Great Grand Parents:

Hiram (my brother is exhaulted) Mills/Martha (Lady)

Major (greater) Buford/Mary (bitter) Gaines

Thomas (twin)McCoy/Eliza (My God is a vow) Marshall

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Paternal Great Grandparents:

Nathan (He(God) has given) Addison/Kate (pure) James

Alfred (elf counsel/itself)Thomas/Della (noble) Patterson

Maternal Great Grandparents:

William (will, desire, helmet, protection) Mills/Susan (lily) Buford

William(will, desire, helmet, protection) Hamm/Alice (noble/kind)McCoy

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Grandparents:

Spencer (someone who gives out goods) Addison/Alberta (noble & famous) Thomas

John (God is Gracious) Mills/Ethel (righteous noble) Johnson (Hamm)

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Parents:

Spencer (someone who gives out goods) Addison Jr.

Lois(more desirable/better) Maxine (Little Maximus) Johnson (Mills)

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Me:

Felicia (happy/lucky/fortunate) Monique (advisor) Addison

Well I'd say there was Spirituality and Pride all over the place when I lived all those years ago. Yes... Giants.

The Fish Monkey Story

2011-06-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Sitting here relaxing when I need to be packing, going to work finishing up the pile of work that can't wait until my return. I know this trip is about work, but I'.m getting excited about finally getting a chance to visit ATL's aquarium. This love of marine life started as a child, my Father loved to fish and also kept awesome aquariums and a vast library on aquatic life.. (To those reading from my genealogy blog this will eventually tie together). So I've always loved fish in the water and on my plate (okay, a bit ill).

The first memory I have of fishing with my father is actually when we (he) had caught an abundance of Crappie & Blue Gill and it was time to clean them to prepare them to fry with fried green tomatoes and french fries. I had to be about three. And I remember us being at Mama's house (my granny) on her kitchen floor with a bunch of newspaper and brown bags covering the floor. He'd take a fish out of the bucket and hand it to me with a tablespoon and show me how to scale it. Once he figured I had that job covered, that's when he started chopping the heads off of the fish and cleaning them. I'd scale, he'd chop and clean.

As we were doing this I suddenly thought of the fish in his aquarium, how I could go up to that aquarium and stare at them for hours, watching them swim, fight, eat when he dropped some flakes or shrimp in there and I also remembered a time they looked thirsty and I thought I'd share my glass of milk with them (different story, let's just say I got popped and had to take a nap). And I suddenly got real sad as I looked down at the chopped heads of fish. I stopped scaling and he looked at me crazy as if why am I stopping the rotation? I asked him if we were going to eat these fish, were we going to eat my favorite Guppies and his favorite Arawona named Roscoe?

He laughed - hard. Laid all out on Mama's kitchen floor getting fish juice all over the place. And I looked at the fish heads and could of sworn they were still living, their eyes kept moving and in my mind staring directly at me. My Granny got upset with him for laughing at me and kicked him in his side and told him to shut up. She picked me up and took me to the bathroom for a bath, where she explained to me the difference between pets and dinner. I was cool after that. She told me I could enjoy them both ways and I have ever since. My favorite food is Seafood and I love me a nice Aquarium!

Oh the Fish Monkey story... Well at three I couldn't really pronounce my name Felicia Monique correctly, so when asked my name I'd have a big smile on my face and scream FISH MONKEY ADDISON!
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Liar or Great Storyteller?

2011-05-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a moment since I've blogged about my research. Either I'm digging in deep or assisting others with their research; which I have found to be excellent in helping me with my own research. It clears my mind, allows other ideas to flow in research that would have probably never occurred to me with my own.

So lately I've been reading my notes, finally made it to the library to look at more yearbooks/directories and while looking at my Father's yearbooks I noticed that some of the stories he used to share w/ me as a child about his High School experience, is not necessarily true. Per his stories, he played Basketball ran Track and was very well known - yet the yearbooks didn't show him listed on any teams. Then in his Senior yearbook, after they show the pictures of the graduating class, they list them all by name and mention the sports/clubs that each student participated in. Guess what? It only showed his name. No sports, no clubs/activities. He was just your average student.

Now I figure some family members will read this and be not only disappointed, but probably very upset w/ me for even putting this out there. Yet I know it needs to be clarified and guess what? It doesn't change not one bit how wonderful of a father, friend, cousin this man was. It doesn't change that. Anyone that knew my father, knew he was a character, could make you laugh, scream and cry. Very entertaining, so yes, maybe he told us a "story" about his High School experience, but as his Daughter, I look at it in a totally different light. I look at it as him wanting to show his children what his dreams for himself were as a child, that maybe didn't come to fruition. Maybe he wanted to be that Basketball Star, Lord knows he had the height for it. Maybe he wanted to be that Track Star, he had the legs and speed for it.

Yet, as I look over his life and realize the challenges he had while being a teenager, to say he even made it across that stage is a miracle in itself. So in my eyes he is that Basketball and that Track Star. He had the talent for it, life just didn't afford him the space to accomplish it. The focus and attention had to be given to figuring out how to handle being bounced from home to home while attempting to stay in school. It would have been much easier to give up, which he didn't do. Yet he had dreams, even then that makes me feel good. That even as dark as some of those days were for him, he still saw the light. Now being that my father was an atheist that is sort of humorous to me and if he were here today, that is exactly what I would tell him, "Daddy that was God, the light was God".

Now I understand why he made sure to always have a stable place of residence for his children to call home. Even as awkward as the living situation in my childhood was, it was always stable. I felt pulled, being both Daddy's Girl and Momma's Baby, yet never did I doubt the love, it was there in a abundance. So yes Spencer Addison is my Great Storyteller, who knew?

Oh, What a Day, What a Day... Still Learning Who I Am.

2011-05-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

Just a little frustrated. Last month I did find additional information on my maternal Great Grandmother, Alice McCoy (see last blog entry). I found her in the 1900 census married to a man by the name of Robert Hopkins. Since there is no 1890 census, I have to jump to 1880, attempting to find her living with her parents Thomas McCoy and Eliza Marshall. Per her obituary her and her parents were born in Owenton, KY, but for the life of me I cannot locate them in the 1870 or 1880 census.

I've found something awhile ago that was a death certificate of a Mrs. Eliza McCoy, but the age seemed a bit off. It listed no parents so I couldn't confirm the maiden name or even her husband's name, just that she was widowed. Why are these people hiding from me???

Inspiration from the Beyond Emancipation Project

2011-04-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned it before, that I've been volunteering with Beyond Emancipation. Today's session was making a video of them talking about who they are, challenges, expectations. I love those kids. Hilarious, brutally honest and courageous. I think back when I was their age and what frame of mind I had. I was focused at that time, maybe not on the things I should have been focused on, but I knew that I had a purpose. I was a creative person without an art, who decided to get into the Corporate structure of things. Now I know why within I'm so conflicted. I have a passion for the peculiar, outside of the box and I continue to question why I remain in the box.

If it were up to me, when I decided I didn't want to go to school anymore and just live, I probably would have ended up on the streets of Berkeley or SF, making and selling jewelry. Standing on the corner reading my poetry. I probably would have been a Henna Tatoo Artist as well, specializing in Adinkra & Khemetic symbols, reading Tarot Cards, digging deep into the Cosmos and Numerology. I love that, it always has felt natural to me. I've always been able to read people and see things before they happen.

It didn't happen that way. My parents weren't having that...

Both of my parents instilled the work ethic in me deep - even when I didn't want to work. I knew I had to do something to make a living and be self-sufficient. They didn't understand anything other than that. They didn't care how I chose to expand my mind or express my creativity - as long as I had a job to back it up. They taught me early that being a starving artist is not the way to go. Sort of how we tell our young men to have Plan B even though they want to dribble a ball or have a hot CD.

When I see these kids though, there is a rough exterior, but it is understood. I can only imagine some of the things they've experienced in life. I don't know everyone's story but I know too much happened to them at too young of an age. Still they are champions, wanting to break the cycle and wanting what every human being does, just to be loved. Even now as they are simply trying to make it, you see that gleam of hope in their eyes and it dawned on me today that IS life. The will to want to go on, prosper, be challenged, succeed and get back up when you are knocked down.

Going into this project I really wanted to share with them my love for Family History, my love for my Family (even the ones I refuse to speak to - I'm good at loving from afar). Today confirmed that I've learned much more from them. They've inspired me to want to write again, express myself. These are things that I've let lag too long and I'm thankful for this project, because it has given ME back to ME. Alot of people have tried and failed, who would have thought it would be a group of kids just looking to learn something that did the trick. See how the Creator works? So my Parents were thinking the right thing... Work, but make sure you do something you love while doing it... Keeps the stress down. I should have listened more.

Be Peace...

Searching for one thing always leads you to another...

2011-04-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

I felt like writing, so I figured why not blog about my Genealogy Frenzy this weekend. First it started with me looking for a friend's Great Grandfather, census page after census page I found him and also his Great Great Grandfather for that matter.

While searching for his family I had been thinking about a recent meeting I had at my Genealogical Society with the African American Genealogical Society of Northern California AAGSNC, and this meeting was on those brick walls. I've been frustrated with my Maternal Grandmother's side of the family as I'm stumped no matter which way I go I can't seem to get further than my 2nd Great Grandparent's names. Now for some I know they will say how dare I get frustrated, some people don't get to that point, well it irritates me, okay? LOL... Especially considering the wealth of knowledge I have gained on the other legs of my family history.

So of course the advice I was given is what I already knew, with the census it could be a mere misspelling of a name, both given and surname, search with the wildcard, search with the soundex - all of these things I tried and still no where.

This particular leg of my family, I've found in the 1930, 1920 and 1910 census, but could never find them in the 1900 - and I've been looking for well over a year. I knew they were born in Kentucky, but in the three census' that I located them in they lived in Ohio. So I figured maybe they lived in Kentucky and I did all my researching in the part of Kentucky I knew of. Nothing...

Well in researching this friend's family it cleared my mind - I was looking for something totally unfamiliar to me and I seemed to be getting info everytime I searched. As I thought about how freely this info was coming to me, I figured out why - I was calm and let everything come to me - yes, this research is detective work, but sometimes what you feel is the hardest thing that turns out to be the simplest. Open your mind and expect the unexpected and you will be able to see something you've been overlooking.

After I did all my mind could contain w/ looking for my friend's family, I decided to take yet another stab at locating my Great Grandmother and her two children. Her name is Alice (common), son's name is Walker (common as a surname, but not a given name) and daughter named Katharine (common, but hard to pinpoint because of the variations of the spelling) common surname JOHNSON.

So I figured... let's try Walker and leave the surname blank. Put in what I felt his age to be in the 1900's and see what I would find. Bam! (As my lovely Goddaughter would say) - I found them... but living with another man AND... a different surname:

In 1900 Census, my Great Grandmother and her children lived with a man by the name of Robert HOPKINS. I never heard of this man and in asking my elder relatives that may possibly have some info, they had no idea of who he was. The JOHNSON Surname is from My Great Grandmother Alice MCCOY marrying Samuel JOHNSON. She was widowed sometime between 1893-1900. This I knew just from what my family told me, but once I found this information, I did further research and found out that my Great Grandmother the widowed Alice JOHNSON, married a Robert HOPKINS on 29 Oct, 1897 in Clermore, OH; being the reason they showed up in the 1900 census with a different surname.

My summary of all of the above is sometime in between 1900-1910 Alice & Robert moved from East Liverpool, OH to Cincinnati, OH (assuming for work) and separated/divorced as well (haven't found anything on the divorce yet) but I know by 1910 Census she was living in Wellsville, OH which is in the county of Columbiana, the same as East Liverpool.

On the 1910 & 1920 census her marital status stated she was divorced - I didn't know why, as from what I knew she was widowed. By 1930 she was stating she was widowed and her death certificate and obituary also states that she was the widow of Samuel JOHNSON.

I found Robert HOPKINS remaining in Cincinnati in both the 1910 and 1920 census', in the later census he was a patient in Cincinnati General Hospital - I need to find out what happened with him as it also contained inmates as well.

So I found something no one knew about her - she had remarried. This is something that my Grandmother never mentioned to my Mother and her siblings (My Grandmother was Alice's 3rd child born in 1912 with a man by the name of William HAM(M)). So this was one of those family, ah ha moments.

Did I find what I was looking for, yes and no. What I wanted to find is her linked up with my 2nd Great Grandparents, but knew I couldn't really get that info until I answered that 1900 census mystery of did she live in Kentucky or Ohio. Now that I know the answer to that, I'm getting closer and closer to that answer - too bad 1890 census is a goner, but 1880 census Great Granny Alice MCCOY JOHNSON HOPKINS, here I come!

FE

My Birthday

2011-04-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

It's weird - I'm 42 years young today - or I should say @ 11am I'll be 42 years young.

I don't feel it.

Now granted, I have aches and pains and most of that is because I know I need to be more physically fit, but wit wise I'm able to hang w/ the ebb and flow of life. The only thing I believe I want to change about myself is to stop over analyzing things. I have that bad and I notice it is progressing the older(younger) I get. I dig the wisdom though, believe that.

Also I would like to be more patient. In researching my family, I find I have less patience for the family that are alive and thriving. I know that is mean to say - but hey, truth is truth. Do I love them? With every ounce that inhabits this physical form I have and beyond in the mental and emotional form - but still... they really know how to get me to a point of where I want to grab them by the shoulder's and shake them and yell WAKE UP.

Wake up to who you are and where you originate. When I look at the lives my ancestors lead and their accomplishments during times that weren't so kind; then I watch the living not really comprehend that and take everything for granted, I become very frustrated.

This baby picture of me I believe was taken at the age of about 6 or 7 months. See that confused but purposeful look in my eyes? (See what I mean about over analyzing things?). It appears I'm confused because I think I'm wondering what that thing is in their hands that they keep sticking in my face, but purposeful in the sense that I've seen it before and I'll figure it out one day.

That's how I've lived my life. Always wanting to know more, many consider me smart and observant, but they have no idea how ignorant I feel on a daily basis. Ignorant because as much as I know, I know nothing. And to me, the desire to not want to know is where the crime towards life exists and that's where I get frustrated w/ some of my family members.

Then I look at pictures of my beautiful Grandmother Alberta. To me she was my favorite of Grandparents, very patient, had the best hugs, made my clothes and used to sing the Sesame Street song to me every morning. Yet, my opinion of her is much different than what my Father's opinion of her was. To him she was selfish, self-serving and not to be fully trusted. He had his right to feel like that because that is the person he experienced, just like it is my right to feel the way I do based on the experiences I've had with her.

So I've come to the realization that possibly, those same family members I want to shake the hell out of, today is the way I see things and tomorrow is the way someone else will see them and those thoughts may very well contradict. That's what gaining a new year of life is about - the possibility of growth. That is my prayer for everyone. Grow to your full potential and then keep trying to grow even beyond that, because life is limitless and YOU are the entity that sets those limits, so don't limit yourself. Ashe...

Writing My Life Story

2011-04-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

It's time that I sit down and do what all Genealogists must do, write your OWN story.... I'm scared, lol.
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Extended Family

2011-04-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

I know this blog's purpose is for the research of my family's history as well as my various experiences within Genealogy. Still as I sit here this morning and think about all the wonderful people that I've had/have in my life that were/are family to me when mine was not readily available, they deserve a mention and more. Although I can't list them all, it does not diminish their effect on my life or my love for them.

The picture to the left is of my best friend Brenda Smith and myself (pre-loc'd days). We shared life the good, the bad, the ugly and the painful. Nine days older than Brenda her wisdom extended mine in ways I didn't understand until it was almost too late.

She departed this world on September 5th, 2002 and life in every aspect of the word changed for me. It turned me inward, but more observant. Although my smile was lost for a very long time the thought of her brought me joy. If there were ever two individuals destined to meet and exist in each others energy - it was me and that girl Brenda. Ashe!

D'Juan Bush

That smile I lost came back when a young man made himself a presence in my life when I tried hard to fight it. Losing Brenda made me not want to be close to someone like that again. So I kept on doing what I do, but really closed myself off. Yet this young man forced his way in. He was a young kid growing up next door to me and I just remember him always smiling and helping my mother in with the groceries. By this time I was a young adult already working - no time for little kids. So I grew up, moved out and went on my journey in life. When I lost my Godson Andre (Brenda's son), my Mother, Brenda and a marriage that failed all within 2 years - I couldn't deal with being at home any longer and I took a year Sabbatical in Charlotte, NC. I was able to regroup, put things in perspective as much as I possibly could and took care of me. I returned home and those old feelings started to creep back in, wanting to just shrink up and die. I just felt like the wind was knocked out of me - all of the time. Still this one person, when I returned home was a "grown ass man" as he liked to remind me time and time again.

He was a bug-a-boo in every definition of the word. Every time I got home from work - there he was. Asking me how my day was, what I was doing for dinner, what movies had I seen, help him with his resume and fill out job applications, etc. I fought it for as long as I could, but he got in and I'm not talking romantic, I'm talking friend. He was my baby, my brother. He taught me how to laugh and smile again. So we ate together, watched movies together, did job searches (my baby wanted a JOB) and we had so much in common and after months of him working jobs he despised he finally got his dream job to work for Caltrans. He was a highway maintenance worker. I watched a young boy become a young man and yes eventually a "grown ass man". Yet fate has it's own irony...

One day while working my sister (who also worked w/ me) came into my office and told me we needed to leave urgently, Juan had been in an accident - I immediately grab my purse and ready to go and wanted to drive, which my sister would not let me do. I needed to get to him and quick to see how he was doing and she wasn't moving fast enough. She looked at me as if this was the most painful news she had to deliver and she simply told me, "FE - he didn't make it". I felt the wind seep out suddenly.

Caltrans lead the funeral procession.

D'Juan Bush was my Soul's Savior. He taught me to keep trying, no matter how bad it is. I knew these things already but he found a way in and a way to remind me, not with words but by simply showing me. His funeral was massive, California's then Governor Schwarzenegger had all of California Government offices hold their flags at half staff the day of his funeral. They stopped traffic on all major roads and freeways for his funeral procession. To say it was surreal is putting it mildly. They led the procession through the neighborhood of Brookfield where he grew up and you could see people on the street waving at the procession as he was loved by the whole neighborhood (how cocky of me to believe he was only mine). He is missed so much, but I'm so blessed to have had him touch my life.

Once upon a time there were three friends ( one man and two women) chatting online about movies and somehow it got around to books, books specifically on Black Love. The lack of positive role models and reality in these books. Well since these three friends dabbled a bit in writing they thought it would be fun to come up with a story of their own - with the women only writing for the female characters of the book and the man writing for well, the male characters in the book. This was to give it that reality factor.

After a few failed attempts, that last attempt had a life of it's own. Before they knew it they had come up with enough material to actually call it a book. Myself, Joye Cooks and the male counterpart who I will keep anonymous, together we birthed the book known as Love Mosaics: Indigo Blue under the pseudonym Tatu (meaning three in Swahili). This story began right after I lost my Mother, Brenda read it while it was being created and then she left, but guess who was at the book signing? Yes, D'Juan... See how wonderful extended family can be?

Giving Back: Beyond Emancipation

2011-03-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks I've been volunteering to help Youth from Alameda County research their family members. A Youth Ancestry Project through Supervisor Keith Carson's office in conjunction with the African American Genealogical Society of Northern California (AAGSNC).

So far I've been working with the young adults at Beyond Emancipation, helping them piece together their family history as well as hopefully help them locate living relatives. I have to admit in the beginning I didn't know what to expect, but once I sat down with them and we begin discussing some of the things that have transpired in their lives it felt like home. Not in so much as I could relate to all of their stories, but I felt their pain and their need to know who and where they come from and if there are any relatives currently available for them to connect with. I bring their stories home with me and I admit to tossing and turning thinking about them and my need to want to help them as much as possible. Giving back does the heart good - I cannot stress that enough, truly a Blessed feeling.

Mama, I Remember

2011-03-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a BLESSED Day... I cannot explain the joy I've had today. First I attended our Society's monthly meeting AAGSNC, which had a powerful presentation by Nicka Smith on her journey to Cameroon, I wanted to be in tears, but tried to remain the big girl. :) Nicka has a gift, she has found what she is passionate about in her family research and there is no limit to how far she will go for it, a true inspiration. I'm not sure if she's put her journey yet on her family's blog, but here is her family's website: atlasfamily.org - one day I will hopefully get our family's history to this caliber - she is a true inspiration and I am glad to call her friend.

Then after today's meeting I went over to my sister LaJuana's house. Family pictures are hard to come by in my family as when my parents split, my mother left everything (just grabbed her two girls and left) so all of our family pictures were spread among many family members. Now a bunch of those family members have passed on so trying to find out who has what and how to piece them all together is a journey within itself.

Now getting back to my visit w/ LaJuana, I knew she had some pictures that were my Grandmother Alberta's (Mama) so I toted my laptop and my scanner (yes, I put my scanner in a suitcase and toted it along) one day I'll be savvy and get me a small portable one, but a sista's got to do what a sista's got to do.

So I set up all of my equipment and LaJuana brought out this album and I immediately came across a picture that rocked my heart to its core. This is a picture of my Uncle James Thomas, my Grandmother Alberta's baby brother.

I remember her showing me this picture when I was a little girl and her explaining to me that he died when he was a little boy. She had this picture low in a drawer, so I would pull it out every now and again and look at it. He was a baby in this picture, but I remember how she used to call him her baby and how much she loved him (she was 14 years older than he was) and I'm assuming during that time she was probably more of his caregiver than her mother was.

James was the baby boy out of 11 siblings. 7 Boys and 4 Girls. So when i saw this picture my heart did an immediate cartwheel. My sister LaJuana had no clue on who was in this picture, but I recognized it immediately the minute she pulled it out. I used to stare at this picture and wonder what type of little boy he was, my Grandmother was crazy about him and when she would talk about him, I could see tears welling up in her eyes, as she would tell me how she used to rock him to sleep, play with him when he was a young boy. This is the only picture I've ever seen of him and I'm sure more exist, I hope I can recognize him just by feeling him. I'm sure Mama will give me that signal.

Below is his death certificate that I obtained from Franklin Parish, LA - this was the link that let me know my Great Grandparents were actually from West Baton Rouge, LA and over time migrated on up to Winnsboro, LA.

My Uncle James Thomas was 8 years old and 7 months at his time of death and died of Diarrhea. I'm assuming he had been ill and the Diarrhea is what most likely dehydrated him and eventually killed him. When I think about this I think about how times have changed and how had this illness fell upon a young boy at the age today he'd be able to live through it, grow up into a beautiful young man, who would have gone on to start his own family, but that was not his destiny. His destiny would extend many years beyond his death, until a day his big sister, would show his baby picture to her inquisitve granddaughter who never forgot that he existed and how much her Grandmother loved him. His story will be told and kept alive, all 8 years and 7months of it.

Mama I remember and thank you for sharing him with me.

William Ham

2010-12-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

I found him!

My Maternal Grandmother, Ethel Elizabeth Johnson, was a love child between my Great-Grandmother Alice McCoy and Mr. William Ham.

The story basically goes, Alice McCoy married a man by the name of Samuel Johnson approx 1890 (still cannot prove that marriage yet) and from the union she had two children, Walker Johnson (who at one time I thought was named Walter) and Katherine Johnson. Sometime around 1899 and 1900 either Samuel Johnson died or they separated (still working on that proof as well).

Well I'd always heard my mother tell me her Mother's father's last name was Hamm, but because her Grandmother wasn't married to Hamm she couldn't "legally" put her under his name. So she had to carry the name her mother had which was Johnson (her supposed married name). Even on my Grandmother's birth certificate it lists her father as William Samuel Johnson.

Well...

After several interviews with my Aunt Sally, each time its a new bit of information, or clarification of information previously given.

Perfect example: Walker (Walter) Johnson.

I have an Uncle named Walter James Johnson, this would be my mother's brother. Well the story I was always told is that my Uncle Jimmy was named after his Uncle Walter Johnson.

Well...

In 1900 & 1910 census in Columbiana, OH - Alice Johnson was listed with her 2 children, WALKER Johnson and KATHERINE Johnson. I took it to be a mispelling of his name - hey because the story I had always been told is Uncle Jimmy was named Walter James Johnson after his Uncle, my Grandmother's brother.

Well...

On my most recent interview with Aunt Sally in discussing her "Uncle Walt" I mentioned to her what I found in the census - that each time they listed him as Walker and not Walter - she grabs her forehead and screams, well Mom always called him Walker, but his nickname was Walt.

Well...????

More confusion? No wonder I couldn't find his death certificate as per Aunt Sally he died approx 1941-1943 in Philadelphia, PA - I had been searching for WALTER JOHNSON. So basically my Uncle Jimmy was named after his Uncle WALKER who they nicknamed WALT.

Now... back to the Ham/Johnson love child...

How I found my Great Grandfather William Ham is by dropping the additional "m" in the name Ham and my Aunt Sally finally dropped some info on what Mr. Ham's sister's name was was Marie Jackson (she called her Grandfather Mr. Ham). Finding Marie Jackson led me to 1910, 1920 and 1930 census with William Ham, who didn't live too far from My Great Grandmother Alice McCoy Johnson - so in 1911 they got cozy and created that Love Child Grandmother of mine Ethel Elizabeth Johnson.

Summary of this blog:

Don't assume names. My main mistake w/ Ham was searching for HAMM. I assumed that it would be w/ a double m as it was a name and not an actual Ham...
Don't always go by what they "called" people. The census people had it right. His name was WALKER - they called him Walt as I guess calling someone Walk wasn't popular then.
Always continue to ask questions - even when you think you've got the tip top total truth - you never know what else is lingering out there and what someone remembers in the first 7 meetings, trust by the 10th a new bit of info will emerge.

Family History is lovely and surprising all at the same time... gotta love um...

Have a great holiday.

New Vision

2010-10-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hey all...

A bunch has happened since my last post of being overwhelmed - yes still feeling that way, but with a more positive outlook.

Facebook is wonderful. My sister and I have linked up with a bunch of cousins on Facebook. All it took was linking up with one and next thing you know there were a flood of invites of distant cousins. That was so wonderful. So we are planning to visit Winnsboro, LA Thanksgiving week to meet these cousins as well as touch base with the family we already know. Should be fun as we've never been.

Of course I'm going to turn it into a research week as well, already making my notes and travel plans for that week as well. Going to visit Concordia and Catahoula Parishes while there to dig through some county paperwork, visit some cemeteries and praying I get some good info.

I'll keep you updated!

Overwhelmed!!!

2010-08-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

Fellow Genealogist - I'm at that point. So much info, too little time and not enough hands to help with it. I swear I'm mixing up ancestors, names jumbling together and we won't even go into the fact that my laptop crashed taking with it all of my wonderful notes and work and I feel like pulling out my hair. Or how about my teeth, one at a time without pain medicine!!!

My family seems interested, but no one is reaching out to help me w/ this documentation of where we come from and where we are going. Yet my passion is enough to keep the fuel burning - still I can't help feel overwhelmed by this.

Yet... the reason to keep going is take a look at this baby picture - THIS is our future, one of the latest additions to our family. I have to keep going for the kids. I don't want them guessing where they came from. I want them to be able to pull out my notes, pictures, memories of who their ancestors were. If I were to die today, my Grand Niece Lovenia Monet Smith (top left) will grow up knowing pretty much from day one who her Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Grandparents were and that is much better than where I started. I didn't know about my GGGGrandparents until 2 years ago and I'm 41. So see there is progress.

Yes, I'm overwhelmed but again, the passion outweighs it. I think I'll step away for a month, clear my head and then tackle it again - get everything back in order, build my computer database again (and promise not to cry while doing so). I can't help to think how much fun it would be for some family members to love it as much as I do, understand the importance of it and wave a friendly hand that wouldn't mind helping with the research, gathering the pictures, something... ;)

Overwhelmed but in Love w/ My Family...

75 Years of Strength

2010-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

I know it has been awhile since I've blogged - believe me when I say I have all of the intentions to do so, it just ends up falling on the back burner, due to the day job that has me traveling alot, but I hope to figure out a way to make blogging one of the top priorities soon.

In any case, I did want to share with you what I did this past weekend. My Aunt Sally just celebrated her 75th birthday on February the 3rd and I created her a scrapbook that did a brief review of her life as well as add pictures of her 4 children and their children & grandchildren - I also gave her a copy of the family tree I've been working on (although it is no where near complete) I thought it would be a nice idea to at least show her how far I've got with her assistance. She was very touched and ecstatic about everything, my cousins (her children) were jealous, hahaha - as I had given the best gift so far. Now everyone wants their own scrapbook w/ the same details - so I'll be busy on that project as well.

Being I cannot place the entire scrapbook online for all to see, I did want to share the personal tribute I placed in the scrapbook from me to my wonderful Aunt Sally. She is sarcastic, hilarious, a lover of science fiction, still smoking, has an addiction for scratch off cards and a soap opera addict. However behind all of that drama, this is the most loving woman I know. She is controlled, tries not to show it so much, but just looking in her eyes you can tell just how much love she has for her family - she is our Matriarch.

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Inspiration…

Comes when you seek it, comes when you least expect it

Family…

If one truly pays attention Family mirrors Inspiration in so many ways…

Aunt Sally, for as much as you are my family you have also been my Inspiration.

Love you more than words can say.

Happy 75^th Birthday and many more…

Once upon a time in the land of East Liverpool, Ohio (if we must be precise, Sunday, the 3^rd of February 1935) the Stork of Happenstance knocked long & hard at the door of Clarence Edward Tyree & Ethel Elizabeth Johnson school sweethearts that had no clue of what the Stork had in store for the young couple.

Ruth Ethelda Johnson was the name bestowed upon this unique creature. Now being that I’m telling this story 75 years after the fact, I really can’t say why she was named Ruth, however the stars are inclined to believe it was from the Book of Ruth from the Holy Bible (being both parents were active in their respective churches). The name Ethelda comes from her Mother’s name Ethel. And Johnson… well, you can make the connection.

My sources tell me she was a good student as well as a soloist in her church’s choir which was frequently featured on an East Liverpool local radio station. She graduated from East Liverpool High School and joined the military, both Navy and the Army where she met and married William Alvin Christopher Jr.

Born during a time when opportunities for young ladies were scarce and adding the term Negro didn’t make the opportunities that much greater - Ruth made a way for herself. Graduation, Military Service, Widow at 31 and rearing a family with four young children as well as taking care of her Mother and young sister Maxine – she did all this and made it look as simple as tying a shoelace. However, we all know it wasn’t easy, I’m sure there were many a night when the house was still she questioned her strength and her ability – yet each day she packed away those doubts and made it happen anyway.

As her Niece she may never know how much I respect her for that. Without her my mother would have never moved to California and met my father. I’m sure she doesn’t want the credit for that, but hey without that union there would be no me. ;)

So I offer you a minor journey of those that had the stars not aligned and that Stork of Happenstance not visited Clarence and Ethel and blessed them with Ruth Ethelda Johnson Christopher, there would be no US…

Felicia Monique Addison aka Fish

February 2010

Yes... another entry (finally!)

2009-11-29T07:16:00.001-08:00

I know this is supposed to be a journal on my quest for family knowledge and I have learned alot! Just haven't put it down on paper or the internet! :)

The last 4 weeks have been a Godsend. I have reconnected with some of my cousins I had lost touch with. These are cousins that are older than me and very instrumental in my research.

They have the stories, the memories (ooh and the pictures!) and I love it.

The picture to the right of the screen is of my Great Grandmother Della "Big Mama"Patterson. She was born in 1893 and died in 1971 - what a blessed life that was! At the time of her death she had already lost a husband my Great Grandfather Alfred Thomas Sr. (the left picture) through that union they had 11 children, 2 of which proceeded her in death, Twenty-seven grand children & Fifty great grand children (I had just made it to be included). Not to mention, Big Mama had remarried (a tasty tidbit I never knew about) I'm still researching Mr. Ike White - My Cousin Mae referred to him as Papa Ike, so the way I take it he was well loved by my family.

Hearing stories about Big Mama from my Grandmother Alberta (Mama) used to be fun. To be honest all of my family members have great stories. Reconnecting with these cousins really made me appreciate Oral History, especially in reviewing old records on my family, coming face to face w/ their signatures or some other documentation that they may have filled out. Some of these ancestors could barely read, let alone print or sign their own names. So they found a more artistic way to communicate. I get it, I really do. Truly makes me appreciate where I come from and why at times when I didn't understand, why they were so strict on me learning to read, write, speak well. They were preparing me to be their voice of the future. Okay, before I fall into a philosophical dream world (as I tend to do at times) back to the topic at hand, lol!

Now, this picture to the left is of Big Mama's husband and my Great Grandfather Alfred Thomas Sr. As you can see this appears to be a drawing. This is the only picture my Cousin Mae had. Which was a copy of someone else's picture, so I'm hunting the original down as well - hoping that someone wrote on the back of it. My cousin really didn't know her grandfather as he died when her and my father were about four & five years of age (Mae & my father are about 4 months apart in age). If my father were here, I know he'd know something. That's where I think I get my memory from, my father - we remember the tiniest of details, but forget the major things, hahaha - but hey people love me and my memory I remember the things they can't! :)

Alfred met Della in West Baton Rouge Parish. They were neighbors. I have a feeling that they weren't supposed to be together, because she married him @ the age of 14 (in 1907) and they made way to other parts of Louisiana. Now I'm still researching, so I don't know if this is true 100% (just speculation here) but when I do my research on her other sisters, they all married at 18 or after and stayed close to home. Alfred & Della married and hightailed it out of WBR. Sounds like a father with a shotgun to me, neighbor or not. I'll visit this again and let you know my findings when I do find out. Even my cousin Mae hinted to the fact that she only met one of Big Mama's sisters (and she had 3) she couldn't remember any Uncles, Great-Grandparents, cousins really from either side. Keep in mind that these family members passed in late 50's early 60's, so Mae (and my father for that matter) would have been old enough to remember any relationships they may have had... So yep... it appears to me at first glance, Alfred had a thing for Ms. Thing and she liked him as well and they jumped ship!

The writer in me loves imagining the stories on these lives, but the genealogist in me knows that FACT over FICTION is a MUST! So of course my hunch says one thing, but reality always wins and as soon as I know, I will report back.

I'm going to end this now - I promise to start blogging more - especially now that I'm telling others about this blog. Would truly hate to send them here to one or two postings.

Until next time Be Blessed & Peace Always!

The Man of My Dreams...

2009-09-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Yes...

I'm Daddy's Little Girl to the bone. Spencer Addison Jr. was his name.

Pretty much all of my dreams have him rescuing me from fire breathing dragons and bad guys in the street. My hero, my father that was nicknamed Buddy Jr.

My father was born in Winnsboro, LA on October 26th, 1941. His parents, Spencer Addison Sr. and Alberta Thomas from what I hear, wasn't a match made in heaven. As I'm still learning about my family history, I'm told that their family members weren't too fond of one another. So for them to begin a relationship, get married and have a child - let's just say the union had its issues at the very beginning.

I heard bits and pieces at a very young age while eavesdropping in to my Grandmother Alberta "Mama" discuss with my mother, relationship issues she had had with my Grandfather. That when my Father was born, he refused to let her sleep in the bed with him as my father was born with red hair and freckles. So for the first month or two of my father's life, Mama slept on the couch while being emotionally, mentally abused by my Grandfather. I even heard rumor of physical abuse as well. Of course now we know that red hair is a genetic mutation - but understand that we are dealing with early 1940's in Rural Louisiana.

So when I'm later told that at the age of 5, my Father walked his mother to a bus stop and watched her board and ride out of his life, as cruel as that seemed, it can almost be understood. She knew that she couldn't take him with her, my Grandfather would have probably tracked her down and done only the Lord knows what.

When I remember hearing my Father speak about my Grandfather, he only spoke about a great father figure. That taught him how to drive at age 8. My father used to brag that if it has wheels and a steering wheel he could drive it. He also taught him how to fish (as my Grandfather was a fisherman & truck driver by trade) and taught him how to be a man and a father. My father was great as both in my opinion, so my Grandfather couldn't have been all that bad.

My Grandfather died at the young age of 37 when my father was 12 years old. That was very hard on him, his mother had been long gone by that point. Periodic visits here and there, but what he knew in regard to security was gone. His Great-Aunt Mag started taking care of him while my Grandfather traveled for work and after his death until my Grandmother showed up wanting her child. I'm told it was a violent confrontation that ended with my Grandmother leaving Louisiana with her child, headed for Hawthorne, Nevada to stay where her young brother, Earl "Bubba" Thomas lived. I'm still piecing the story together, so I'm not sure if she "fled" Louisiana as she had a lot of family there that would have protected her, or if she left because she thought Nevada offered better opportunities.

Here is a picture of my Grandmother Alberta and my Father in Nevada in 1954/1955.

Here are his 6th & 7th Grade Class Pictures in 1955 & 1956, Hawthorne, Nevada.

My father eventually ended up in Oakland, California where he completed his education at Roosevelt Jr. High School and Oakland High School. This post will be updated as I gain additional pictures, more stories.

My father closed his eyes for the final time on May 28, 1994. One of the many days that changed my life forever. He was a good father, difficult at times as he had his own demons he was fighting with, but there was not one time I felt unloved. In the end that is all that truly matters to me. He did what a father was supposed to do, love and protect his family.

A Breakthrough...

2009-08-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I never thought of posting an online blog in regard to my genealogy quest. I do everything else online and it is so convenient considering the amount of travelling I do. Woo hoo!Lightbulb! ahahah...

In any case, lets discuss my breakthrough. Well I recently found the slave owning family of my Paternal Grandmother's Grandmother. Yes... Let me tell you that was a joy and a pain. A joy for linking the past, but a pain to know what she may have endured.

When I saw one of my Paternal Great GrandFather's (Alfred Sr.) death certificate, they had his mother's name listed, but her maiden name was illegible. It read LaBale from my eyes and anyone else I had to review the record. Well I decided that I should try to find death certificates of his siblings who may have the name listed correctly. I tried the brother that signed his death certificate and it wasn't listed at all. But I was able to find the death certificate of his eldest brother and bam, there it was LaBauve.

I remember when I found her, Jane (LaBauve) Thomas in the 1870 census before I knew her maiden name, and she was living with her husband William Thomas, but they were living smack dab in the middle of people with the name of LeBlanc and LeBauve - so you could understand my confusion. When you start in genealogy, you will find that "assuming" is NOT the best route to take - you have to be able to prove it or you'll be claiming relatives that have no relation to you, so I didn't want to "assume" until I had some proof and her son William Thomas Jr. gave me that proof!.

So I decided to look at her "neighbors" LeBauve and I found that they were a well known family in West Baton Rouge, LA and had a couple of plantations, etc. Being that she carried their name most likely means she was from their plantation, but what I find interesting is that she is listed as Mulatto which means she may have been more than their slave, I'm sure there is some relation there as well. So now my research is in finding which LeBauve was her actual owner and to piece together some history there. I know her mother's name, which is Ellen Allen (I believe it is actually Allain, another well known slave owner).

Since this is my personal blog I want to tell how I feel about this. Like I said, joy and pain. Joy that I have found yet another link in my family's history but sad that it is in this arena. Did I honestly think I'd find a free person of color in my family during slavery times? No, but I can't lie and say I didn't wish that my lineage didn't cross Nat Turner and some of his cohorts either. You get ANGRY for your ancestors, you want to FIGHT for your ancestors.

But you know I'm doing just that, I am angry but I'm going to use that in a positive way. I'm going to fight for them so that they aren't lost forever. They will be remembered and someway somehow their story will be told. I say this for the family members that aren't African American too - seriously, I'm not hateful or racist in any way. I love all people, but when you know that there is a great section of your family that has been wronged, it's hard not to be emotional about it.

Back to my breakthrough!

I also had a breakthrough in finding other children that may not have been listed on the census. In searching death records for my ancestors, I noticed there were a lot of children that died very young, some under a year old. So I decided to order a bunch of death certificates for these children and I found out that my Grandfather Spencer Sr. had a baby sister that he was 4 years older than and she died at 11months. She died in between census periods, so she wouldn't have been listed or even remembered. I found some of my Grandfather's brothers children that died at a young age too as well as a bunch of certificates that I cannot link to my family, but I believe in sharing details, so I'm going to try to find other people that may be researching those families and pass that info on to them.

I'm going to end this now and I'll be back soon sharing my research and my thoughts. Be Peace!

FE

My Genealogy - the Beginning.

2009-08-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

I had begun a personal journal prior to this blog, so I'm going to copy and paste what had already been created and begin from there. Enjoy!

Felicia Addison – Genealogy Journal

05/02/2009

Today I’m starting my journal on my genealogy quest. Something about today struck me that I need to start documenting this as I research this fantastic time in my life. I’ll start this out with what has been researched up until this point and how I feel about it.

I started on this journey approximately 7 months ago. It started out with me having extra money and receiving yet another email from ancestry.com. So I decided to take a stab at what I’ve always wanted to do; learn more about my family and where we come from.

My family has a lot of secrets and in this research, I’m starting to realize that there shouldn’t have been secrets, but when I look at it from where they were mentally at that time, I can almost understand why. It’s not bad things, just things that I guess one would be embarrassed of at the time and considering the time I’m living in with things being so blunt and out there, I guess I’m desensitized to what may have been “taboo” or “shameful” back then.

About myself, I’m 40 years old (which I hit on April 14th, 2009). Legally married to someone I love dearly, but we’ve been separated longer than we were together. As I type that bit of information about myself, I realize how pitiful that is and will make sure I get a divorce this year. Reason why I haven’t divorced him? Lazy and a romantic all wrapped up in one, however a realist and the realist is getting a divorce soon.

Both parents are deceased so this makes this journey a bit of a pain. My father was an only child by his father, so I have no aunts/uncles to touch base with. His mother did have a son before having my father, but he died either before I was born, or right after I was born, so I cannot consult with him. All grandparents are deceased. And although my mother’s older sister and an older brother are living, I am only able to get so much information from them. So you see this will not be an easy one, yet it’s where I come from and I need to know.

My PATERNAL Family: Believe it or not, in the 7 months I’ve been researching I’ve been very lucky in finding out about my father’s side of the family. Considering I barely speak to his living cousins who I’m sure have a wealth of information I can gain from them. I might also want to add here that when I had the epiphany today on documenting this journey, I also had the epiphany that maybe I should get the stick out of my ass and reach out and touch this family, my family.

I would say the main reason why I do not deal with this side of my family is due to my parents divorce and the passing of my Paternal Grandmother. Not that the divorce wasn’t bad enough, but there were family members that took advantage of my Paternal Grandmother’s passing and my Mother (yes my Mother) was LIVID. She loved my Paternal Grandmother (her ex-Mother-in-Law) and felt that side of the family did her a disservice. Now I also should mention that my Mother was fiercely loyal , painstakingly so in fact and I need to find out if she was pissed off for the right reasons, because sometimes she could be off center, but hey, it was all in love.

When I started with this side of the family, it was simple enough. I knew my Father’s name. I knew his parents name as well as my Paternal Great Grandfather's name & Grandmother’s maiden name (and her parents). So I started to work backwards, found both Grandparents in the 1930 census. I felt as if I won the lottery. I cannot explain to you (unless you know the feeling) of seeing your family member documented that many years ago. It lets you know that these two people existed and all it took was a meeting for them to create someone that would later create you. I never met my Paternal Grandfather (Spencer Sr.) as he died when my father 12 years old. So to see him on paper as existing; he was more than a story my Father and Grandmother told me about and to see my Grandmother (Alberta - however I called her Mama) on the census, oh my GOD!!! She was 16 years old in the 1930 census. Wow. I even saw her baby brother James on the census and I remembered the stories she used to tell me about him. He died when he was 8 years old and I remember her showing me a black and white picture of him at the age of 4. She loved him and I remember her letting me hold the picture and I would wonder what kind of little boy he was. Did he look like my Uncle Isaac? (One of Alberta's other younger brothers who happened to be one of my favorites.)

So I went on, had a problem finding more about my Spencer Sr., but I was able to locate Alberta in the 1920 census, even with the misspelling of her name as I knew the names of most of her siblings as well as her parents names. I noticed they lived in a different part of Louisiana, but there was Alberta and her siblings that would have been born at that time. Since I didn’t really know what I was doing, I pretty much chalked up my Spencer Sr’s side of the family, plus I was having too much fun finding my Alberta’s side of the family.

So pretty much I played around w/ the 1920 & 1930 census’. Since I had problems finding out info on Alberta's family in the 1900 & 1910 census’ and really didn’t know how to continue on, I decided to dissect what I could on what I had. So I found out how to order death certificates of her family that were listed on the 2 census' that I did have, some were available some were not, but they helped so much.

While I waiting on those death certificates for Alberta's family, I decided to truly dig into the 1930 w/ Spencer Sr (my Grandfather) which seemed off a bit. I knew he had an older brother named Nathaniel but this brother wasn’t listed. I figured, maybe he would have left the home at that time, because Spencer Sr would have been 12 or 13 at the time and young men left home pretty early. Leaving home at 15 or 16 was not unheard of. Especially being an African-American.

Then I noticed the other siblings. My father always talked about his Aunt Mag (Maggie). She took care of him after his father died for a short time (my grandparents had divorced and my grandmother was living in California at the time of my grandfather’s passing). But there was this other daughter listed named Hattie. That made no sense to me at all as I never heard of a Hattie. Ancestry.com advised that she was 7.5 years old. My sister Kim who is pretty observant decided to really look at the actual census form. She blew it up, highlighted the details, got out a magnifying glass. Well, the census form didn’t list this Hattie as a daughter, but as a mother of the head of household that was 75years of age. There on that barely able to read piece of paper was the name of my Great, Great Grandmother. Me and Kim both did the happy dance. We were content with just seeing my grandfather’s name and my great grandfathers name, but here we found my great, great grandmother! I’m getting goosebumps now remembering how overjoyed we were. So I cannot stress ENOUGH the importance of actually looking at the census form. I love Ancestry.com - LOVE THEM, however transcribers can and will make mistakes - always trust what you can prove!

Then I was determined to find out more. I had another name. So I put in her details on what her age would have been and placed my great grandfather(Nathan Sr) in there as her child and next thing you know I find out her name is actually Hettie on a 1900 census record, but my great grandfather is listed as her child and her husband’s name is William. That floored me.

I had a difficult time finding them in the 1910 & 1920 census, but just on what I knew felt GREAT. I started visiting the various genealogy message boards on Ancestry.com - keep in mind, at this time I was still very new to genealogy and had no idea of the wealth of information that was out there, so Ancestry.com was my savior and for that I will always claim them as my favorite because they were the light with me on this journey! So in any case I begin searching for my surname in the parts of Louisiana I knew they resided in. About 2 weeks into my research, I find this gentleman that was researching my same paternal family. He lists the parts of Louisiana they are from and name some other family members. I decided to send him an email and PRAYED he would contact me. His message on that message board was very old – how about 8 years very old. I knew sending him a message could mean he would not get back to me, but I figured it can’t hurt to try. The next morning…

He answered my post!!! He was so excited to find out we were researching the same family. We shared the same great, great grandfather William!!! William’s son Nathan was my great grandfather and William’s daughter Henrietta was my new found cousin Leon’s great grandmother! Leon had been doing his research for approx 9 years and he sent me his information including pictures and he filled in so many blanks! I had a suspicion that this man named John could possibly be my great-great-great grandfather, but I couldn’t find a way to link him to William. Thanks to cousin Leon, he helped me with that link as well as letting me know more of William’s siblings. We haven’t located William’s mother yet, but that is my passion and I cannot wait to share those details w/ Leon who has given me so much. See what finding and reaching out to other family members can do for you? :)

05/17/09

Yesterday I completed my 5 week genealogy class I signed up for with the California Genealogy Society. I gained a lot, but didn’t realize just how much I knew. It was strange sometimes being in that class. The youngest and most times the only African-American (to my surprise there was a Black woman last week, elderly but hey at least I wasn’t the only one!). Of course in the classes I could feel them staring at me , probably trying to figure out why I was there. I mean they knew I was there for genealogy – but why so young?

My answer I guess would be that I’ve for the most part of my life been curious about my family. Always hearing bits and pieces, some truth, some fiction. Wondering why some family members got along and others didn’t. The whispers that would stop when a child would enter a room or the raging arguments that would occur that my young mind didn’t have the capacity to understand at the time. I’m curious or some may even call me nosey, lol.

I love my family and at this time of my life I’ve been through enough to know that we are all human. We make mistakes. Sometimes we are evil. Sometimes we give painstakingly and most times we are brilliant and just haven't tapped into that part of our psyche, but I feel we all mean well. I crave to understand my parents, their parents and so on as adults. I’ve been their child for far too long and I also feel that to understand them better will help me in my walk of life as well. Yes we all have free will, but you cannot honestly tell me you’ve done something that you have no idea why you did it. Boo – it could be in the DNA.

After class on Saturday I decided to go to the Oakland Public Library simply because I knew they had all of the city directories/telephone books so I could get a handle on the address situation. This was something I had not considered prior to my classes DIRECTORIES! It can give you a timeline unlike any other. I found out a lot.

I found out that my Paternal Grandmother (Alberta) lived with one of her sisters for a couple of years to move in with another for a couple of years and then on to her own residence. To some that may not be an “ah ha” moment, but for me it brings some clarity. It lets me know that something in those mid 60’s prior to my birth was a hectic time for my Grandmother and her sisters possibly. I know my Aunt Clara's (Alberta's older sister) husband died in 1966 and then in the 1967 directory it showed Alberta now living w/ Clara. She could have moved in to be supportive.

It helps me with the questions I have to ask my cousins that I’m dreading to contact. I know I will get their side of the story and I’m scared it will have an unflattering spotlight on my Paternal Grandmother, my favorite of my grandparents.

Again I know they are human and I want to know them as adults, but I’m fighting with the child in me. To me my Paternal Grandmother was the cat’s meow. She was my Savior. All good things radiated through this woman on to me. When my parents were so wrapped up in their relationship with each other, she was the one that gave me balance and peace. Yet... all that good had to come from someplace - and sometimes it comes from a bad place.

06/04/09

Just because I haven’t written lately doesn’t mean I haven’t been hard at work! Basically what I’ve done since my last entry is sign up for another genealogy class, this one focused more on African American genealogy, got a footnote.com account (although in my humble opinion it’s not helpful at all) – sad to say, a good majority of these websites are still geared towards the Europeans. Now maybe that is small of me, but today that is how I feel. I have to admit digging through all of this makes me frustrated at times, but I'm on a mission.

I’ve pulled out my Roots DVD and have watched the first 2 episodes. Funny, I view it so much differently. I remember the first time seeing it; I was young so I was sad for Kunta and his family, both African and American. I read the book when I was 9 and only understood it with a 9 year old mind. I saw it again approx 8 years ago and read the book again. This time I was angry. I debated it back and forth with my friends as we tried to relate it to our plight as African-American’s today. Yet watching it now, I see my Great-Great-Great Grandfather and his children and his family. My family. It’s truly personal now. Am I angry? Some but more hurt and appalled than anything. We were human beings! Just a different hue, to call us cargo and compare us to cattle, how degrading and inhumane.

I’ve been having dreams of my father lately as well. The only thing I remember somewhat clearly is last nights dream. A conversation about my GGGGrandfather and him telling me names of people he remembered, etc. I wish I could remember more.

Well my latest research is trying to find a slave owner. I’ve printed up the 1870 census of my GGGGrandfather and the 1860 free inhabitant & slave schedule census records; trying to find someone who may have been the actual slave master. As 1870 census is the first census after emancipation, he was up in his years so I’m sure he still worked with or for his slave master. Then hopefully I can find out how we came to use the name Addison.

There’s so many gaps to this and it is driving me crazy, but as I watch Roots and realize that it took Alex Haley Jr. 12 years to trace his roots. I haven’t even come to a full year yet, so maybe I need to stop stressing so much, haha.